i jst wanna be happy

‘been a while i ws here’…regular line after a long absence…..anyways i am back,saw the need to write again,ws on a rollercoaster and i tink i jst got off the ride and im now on a level ground…..iThink.

i am writin this post while shontelle’s impossible is on repeat,totally love the song,i can hear the passion in her voice or maybe it jst has a deeper meaning,i can relate in a way,jst cnt figure it out yet….its past 12 in the nite,im awake for sum odd reason,tots flooded my brain and i decided to put them down…

been soul searching for a while nw….not sure wat is worth it and wat is not,wat causes sudden happiness and sadness….wat takes u so high but yet still brings u down even lower than u were in the first place……i guess thts life and we hv to take it as it comes…manipulating and fixing all the pieces together to form the perfect picture or at least a good picture to look and enjoy life more….

i finally got to a brick wall….a conclusion maybe,i shld jst let go and not hold on longer than i already hv….let life flow freely and stop hving hope wen i knw there really is none….wld definitely hurt but to avoid greater pain,i shld jst let go *a tear almost dropped from my eye*,wow i guess i ws more into this than i tot….*now holding bac the tears*…..my heart cant take this anymore,fighting a lost battle,maybe i shld jst save my energy for greater battles ahead…maybe..on another note,maybe i hv been on the wrong  journey all this while,maybe i ws given an inch and i took a mile,maybe….jst maybe,i read it all wrong,maybe it wsnt meant to be like this frm the beginning….jst maybe

whichever it is tho….it still hurts like hell….many wld say they wish they cld turn bac time but i say fuck it…i neva wish to turn bac time,i enjoyed it too much to want to erase it from my memory,a better ending wld hv been better tho but i take it as life,we cant always get wat we wnt…..in all of these i jst want to be happy…happiness is all i want….

reporting live from my blackberry

So I’m tryin out this wordpress for blackberry for the first time….let’s see how it goes…if it works well then more insights into my lost world…
Coldplay,owlcity,the fray,breaking benjamins…#bliss
Ok bye

lost

hiya…..im up at 5am to put a post,sumtin is def wrong. im very lost dts why,one min everytin was fine n i ws sailing along smoothly,the next min its all up and down,wat i tot ws isnt it again,i am not even bac to square one,now it feels like i never even started the journey……this is bad…dnt knw wat to do again,done everytin i can do wit as much respect as i can….

maybe i shld give up on it,i dnt knw,maybe i shld jst continue and see where i end up, the fear of the unknown is drawing bac especially cus i hv a lil glimpse of the end and i really cant see any lite at the end of the tunnel,seems like i am fighting a lost battle, like i lost before the first weapon ws drawn…jst felt a tear drop from my eye,now i am def breaking down,shattered on the inside,i can feel my bits floating around wit no place to call home,tryin to find jst a lil hope in sumtin to make me at peace once again,sumtin to hang on to ……

now i am truly lost,i wish everytin cud jst work out my way, but life is never fair…….i feel alone…at least for this time,happy i ws all along and now im bac at the bottom,if only i had jst stayed asleep,maybe i wld hv not found out,too late now,the deed has been done,now i pick up the pieces and try moving on,as hard as it is,i hv to, if only everytin cud go bac to the way it ws in the beginning….i wish i cud jst go away and come bac when nature has taken its course,then i knw i had nuthin to do wit the end….

i shld stop now before i pour it all out and there is nuthin left within to keep me alive…..i hate this part rite now.

btw COLDPLAY, OWL CITY AND THE FRAY are the bestest…….

jst realised my last two posts are some way off the norm here, so imma give u a bit of the usual tin….

nando’s chicken has the worst burger and chicken wings eva…mscheew,expensive crap….kfc makes the best burger in nigeria but nuthin comes close to my big mac,macdonalds’ has got my heart for life…..and my car has a way of always ending up in reserve with the very visible lite,everytime there is a fine ass girl in it….we need to hv a long discussion abt it cus its quite embarrassing,one of them even asked “is ur fuel gauge working?”…you know yourself,dts if u read this tho…..

ok bye……

incomplete

i hv been meanin to put up a post since like forever,but one thing leads to another,i dont complete it,i start but never finish or i hv the perfect layout in my head but puttin it down is a great task………i guess its jst too many tots flying around in my head that i dnt knw where to start from or maybe i am jst too scared of putting them down on paper,fear of the unknown….i mite jst go a lil overboard with them,i wld go for the later tho,been thinking of a perfect way of put down my tots but they jst dont want to conform and so instead of putting a random post,i hv decided to stay ‘lips sealed’ as confusion and indecision eat me up on the inside,maybe they jst mite purge me  so much,i wld be forced to let them out…..but till then,we shall see.

ok,maybe jst a lil preview into my life,finally got new music yaaayyy,about to get some tho,i so can not wait, even tho i think that kind of music makes me seem sad and gloomy,coldplay,the fray,owl city,b.o.b and the likes….but its a lie tho cus that kind of music makes me feel at rest,at peace like a free flowing river,like nuthin is wrong until i switch over to some terry g and then its like there is a cliff ahead and the river plunges head first downwards and suddenly im scattered and confused once again,tossed around,until after a while when i regain my sanity….God bless them both tho…i kinda hv no idea wat i jst wrote but ooo well,dts how i feel…

till i get the courage and inner peace to write again……peace out…